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Finding Humor & Purpose In The Everyday Monotony of Motherhood

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Suburban Farmhouse Interior Bathroom Remodel

January 30, 2019 / Bathroom, Design Inspiration, Modern Farmhouse

Suburban Farmhouse Interior Bathroom Remodel

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ashley_carbo

Last year we made a goal for 12 overnight dates (o

Last year we made a goal for 12 overnight dates (or one a month for the math majors in the house). We completed 10/12.

This year: same goal (since we didn’t meet it last year) - 12 overnight dates.

Last year: pandemic
This year: work travel, new city, ...?

There will ALWAYS be a life circumstance that works against prioritizing your marriage. If you LET IT. Prioritizing your marriage is ALWAYS going to cost you something but most things in life will.

It always blows my mind when I hear people say: we don’t have the time or money is tight. Look, I’m not trying to be insensitive here but you have, and get, what you prioritize. We stood in front of ALL our friends and family, and vowed until death do us part. DEATH. That’s big! But I’m going to let a $50 charge for a babysitter get in my way now?! No ma’am.

For anyone that thinks that a good marriage is easy, please know that behind that outside you see is years of sacrifice, days upon days of fighting and CHOOSING to reconcile, of prioritizing each other despite what life throws.

We do not have a perfect marriage by any means. Spend a week with us and you’ll see it yourself. 🤪But I refuse to be the 1 in 2 statistic. We fight for our marriage everyday because love conquers. Strict boundaries, sacrifices, financial prioritization, and remembering why it is that we said I do (almost) 15 years ago. It ain’t easy, but I choose you @blakecarbo.

And also: you being gone 5 days is too many thank you and goodnight. ❤️

10 months and 7 days is how long it’s been since

10 months and 7 days is how long it’s been since those boys stepped foot into a school with their classmates. They left a year younger, much more naïve to life and change, and just how interconnected the world is. They left with a lot of their childhood innocence still in tact. We’ve battled anxiety, worry, stress, grief, and loss this past year in ways we never anticipated. We all know it’s been hard to say the least.
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They enter today, nearly a year later in a new school, a new state - still very much in transition and not “normal”. Or maybe a better way to describe it would be unfamiliar. They have a new vocabulary like social distancing and mask up. New routines to learn and assimilating into new social circles to navigate.
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In the 3 short weeks of us being here so far, we’ve healed and let out a collective sigh of RELIEF. I’ve seen LIFE return to my kids and our family. They’re better versions of themselves now. And I’m proud as hell.

They enter today not the same as the kids who left last year into a year of uncertainty. They’ve grown. I’ve grown. We’ve grown.

And it is not lost on me the privilege that we possess that we are even in this place, and can afford this opportunity to do what is best for our kids. And while I’ll continue to lobby and fight for our friends to get back into person (or at least the CHOICE) at home, I want to pass along the HOPE that we have.

The hope that resiliency, and life, WILL return. That the children will be okay. That the mamas will return to wearing their one hat, not the 500 that have been demanded in the home this past year. That we will, and ARE, more than a mom.

So let this picture be a beacon of hope to those not yet there, that we forge forward and fight forward toward light, life, and joy. As the mamas, we get to be the Chief Mood Officers of our homes and our journeys. And today, our mood is gratitude and HOPE.

Who knew pandemic parenting would be a thing? There is light at the end of the tunnel. We’re currently living proof. ❤️

Got a freezer full of @traderjoes frozen dinners,

Got a freezer full of @traderjoes frozen dinners, pre-made salads ready to rock each day and we’re winging it for the week. A husband whose traveling for work, kids back in in person school, and after school activities resuming - I’ve got a lot of “winging it” balls in the air. 😂💪🏼I figure if I can AT LEAST set myself up for success to at least avoid HANGER everyday, maybe I’ll usher in a higher percentage of “luck” (slash magic). Nobody really knows.
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Also: if you’re looking for some tips on how NOT to wing, and to actually get yourself more CONFIDENCE and clarity, make sure you register for the On Fire Momma Summit hosted by @jessicabritepeterson that starts today (link is in my bio). I’m excited to learn from some of these other mamas their tips and tricks for upping my low bar lifestyle. 😉😂
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If you had to put a percentage on how much you’re winging right now, what would it be?! #okayestmomever #morethanamom

For so many years, I was so lost in motherhood. Th

For so many years, I was so lost in motherhood. The demands of growing, birthing & growing tiny humans is well, A LOT. I knew that I needed to find something for myself (in order to regain my sanity), but nothing seemed to fit. I applied to corporate jobs, would get in the interview process only to freak out - like wait, this isn’t what I want! I didn’t want a Corp 9-5 - I wanted something that allowed me to be with the kids, hold down the fort, but still let me use my brain (see pregnancies & children for that). It had to also be for, and with, a company that MEANT something. I wasn’t longing for a million dollars (I mean, sure I’d gladly take it off your hands if you were offering) but I wanted MEANING. I wanted IMPACT. I wanted COMMUNITY. But like part time. 😂 Did this unicorn job exist?????

Fast forward 5 years and a pandemic, and I freaking found it. When I saw that the core values of Scout & Cellar were FAMILY, AUTHENTICITY, DOING THE RIGHT THING, PASSION, and TRANSPARENCY - I was like umm okay, yep - I align with that. Then when I heard they were a group of industry disrupters (for the betterment of all of us wine drinkers & planet Earth), the inner rebel in me was like ✅✅ and ✅.

And now that I’ve seen the beauty, I’ve tasted the goodness, and I see how it can transform a/MY life - I wouldn’t feel right NOT telling you. Maybe you’ve been searching for a similar set up? Wanting some way to work in the pockets of your day, gain a community of women to encourage you & cheer you on, while still being present for your chapter of raising and launching kids. Oh, AND make a cleaner choice on your own wine consumption.

Maybe it’s not for you. That’s cool. Do your thang - we need all the flavors of moms doing their thang. But what if IT IS for you?! What if this is the unicorn thing you’ve been looking for? Sometimes things come to you at weird times, I truly believe that.

If this sounds like something that might fit the bill for what you’ve been searching for, JUMP ON IT. My only regret is that I didn’t start sooner and that I didn’t BELIEVE in myself that I COULD do it sooner.

This is the year. Burn the boats. 🔥🛶

A year ago, I was in Palm Springs for a weeklong c

A year ago, I was in Palm Springs for a weeklong conference for creatives & women entrepreneurs. I had never taken a WEEK away from my family, just for me! To invest in ME. It felt really gluttonous, and despite all the mental health work I had done - I was still struggling with feeling WORTHY of taking that time, that money, and investing in ME. (As if serving my family without a paycheck working 24/7 for the previous 9 years hadn’t earned me a week off 🤪). It was a struggle tho to spend that money and say yes to me. Like, not the family, not my marriage, not my career (although it was a little this umbrella), but ME.

After having that week, I came back SO ON FIRE, so stoked for what was to come; my creativity and inner beast had been unlocked and I was PUMPED. Pumped enough that 2 months later, I started my own direct sales business and 6 months after that, I launched my book into the world for all the moms to read.

For sure I would have done none of that without @altsummit. I would have done none of it without going all in on who God had made me, and taking the time to uncover how I am supposed to use that in the world.

My question to you: what would it take to take time away to invest in YOU? Yes I know, the world is stay haywire over this frickin viru$, but you can start planning now. And I’m not talking just like a vacation (although that will be mighty nice too), I’m talking actually INVESTING in you.

There’s no wrong answer - I’m just legit curious if you feel like this could ever happen for you? And if not, what is in the way? What’s stopping you from investing in YOU?

What is the thing that you’ve lost the most sinc

What is the thing that you’ve lost the most since motherhood?

I sort of anticipated the loss of sleep (everyone talks about it).

The loss of time - both for myself and with my friends. I could sort of see that coming. We are keep tiny humans alive.

The thing that I just did not see coming though, the thing that I didn’t anticipate losing in motherhood: MYSELF.

And it was sort of a gradual thing. Because you know there’s these prolonged seasons of growing the babies, then pushing the babies thru the hole (or cutting - both are equally horrific), and then one day you wake up and you don’t even recognize yourself. Nothing in your everyday life is about you.

Your time is now 100% filled with taking care of others. And yes, it’s glorious and we wouldn’t change it for the world (well, except when the middle one turns 3 - that I might’ve changed 😉). But YOU has been lost.

And if that’s you, or if you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the midst of the trenches of motherhood - I see you. You are deep in the wilderness my friend. It is hard to see the forest from the trees right now.

But we can get back to you. We WILL. I will help you as a trusted friend. But mostly you will learn to trust yourself and rediscover you. Because you’re not really lost in the everyday crazy of momming. You’re just being re-born. An updated version of you. Softer around the edges, refined in all the right ways, but still very much YOU. I can’t wait to see you return.

Hold tight mama - you’re making a comeback this year we’re going to see to it!

What is the thing you’d say you’ve lost the most since becoming a mom? 👇🏻

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