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Finding Humor & Purpose In The Everyday Monotony of Motherhood

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Suburban Farmhouse Interior Bathroom Remodel

January 30, 2019 / Bathroom, Design Inspiration, Modern Farmhouse

Suburban Farmhouse Interior Bathroom Remodel

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ashleydsp

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I get asked a lot of questions about our date night practices. Here’s my cliff notes of what works for us:
1️⃣SCHEDULE IT. We set a goal for 2020 - 50 date nights (because we figure there will be a couple of weeks that well, KIDS). Some of you just gasped. Some of you just laughed with a YEAH RIGHT. We start our monthly calendar with writing in our weekly dates. Everything else gets built around that.
2️⃣BUDGET IT. We also have a goal - 10 overnights a year. Dating is legit a line item in our family budget. We plan for it and get creative often with both childcare and activity. Don’t underestimate date night IN.
3️⃣BE CREATIVE. One of the biggest goals is to connect. We have found that it’s easier to do that when we’re experiencing something new together, laughing, or just pretending for a few that we’re two kids who don’t have a ton of responsibilities at home. We saw an idea the other night and both were like YEP DOING IT (thrift store, each buy each other an outfit, and then wear it out after...just IMAGINE the giggles when you pick out the Macklemore fur from the thrift shop. 😂)
4️⃣INCLUDE OTHERS. I’ve never formally tracked, but I would guess we double date about 25-30% of the time. Ditch the kids If you have them and hang out with someone new! Invite another couple to doubles tennis or game night. Get in costume and go play putt putt. Options are endless and don’t have to cost a ton (esp if you’re already paying for childcare!), but involve others. Increases the fun level!
5️⃣BUSINESS IN THE FRONT. Ideally, we’d have a completely separate time to talk “business” (family schedule coordination, kid activities, etc) but assuming we don’t then we use the first half of our time together to get logistics out of the way. Closing those tabs in your brain will help your OCD/Planning partner and open them for up for connection. 😜

Remember, this is what works for US. It didn’t happen overnight. It’s taken a long time to get into this practice and a lot of planning but honestly, in however many years, it’s just going to be us again. And I want to ensure that we’ve grown TOGETHER over the years.
Questions? ASK AWAY!
#staymarried

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The differentiator is not in what you are DOING, but rather who you are BECOMING. I’ll be honest, sometimes I feel like my kids are holding me back. That I have so much more to offer and give (skill set wise) than what exists in my everyday. But the reality is that I need a mindset switch. I need to surrender my plans, accept my season of life, and begin taking joyful steps forward in THAT. Love WELL in your current reality, not future-tripping for a life that you don’t yet have, and feeling frustrated or discouraged that you aren’t yet there.
Yes, DREAM! Yes, set goals!
But maybe you’re in a season of NOT YET because well, KIDS. That is OKAY.
We don’t have to fight our current circumstances, but you might have to fight for purposeful PERSPECTIVE in your current circumstances.
Your purpose is right in front of you. The doors will open for other things when the timing is right. But for now, love those little ones right under your feet. Cheer from the sidelines louder than anyone! Dive into meal planning and caring for your people in the best way you know how. No task is beneath you, and no job is too small (no MATTER your qualifications) because I believe these people have been placed right in front of you for such a time as this. TODAY.
Show up for your current job like it’s your last. Show up today with all the zest and all the passion that you have for that little brewing dream in your heart. Today is your purpose.
Do you relate? Have you felt on the sidelines raising littles? I’d love to know! 🏆Also: I write this to cheerlead myself. Lest any of you think I’ve arrived and figured it out. This is simply what I need to hear today. 😂🙃

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Should I, shouldn’t I? Should I, shouldn’t I? Oh how many times do my fears (of failure) usually inform my indecision to MOVE. Should I start that giving circles? Should I invite that neighbor over I’ve never really talked to? Should I quit/start the blog? If you’re anything like me, you are plagued with should I’s. (Mind you, running barefoot in the snow in your swimsuit is by all accounts STUPID)😂😂. But so what?! So frequently I see someone’s current reality and have desires for something similar. But what I do not see was that it took them diving into the deep end , or running barefoot in the snow - against all logic - in order to get there.
I want the same fearlessness that my 7 year old has when he runs barefoot in the snow. That courage, that WHIMSY, that level of boldness, that willingness to simply RISK without fear of falling, is alluring. It’s teaching me today. If anything, maybe it’ll make for a good laugh and a good story.❤️ Also: we’re day 3 of Snowmaggedon and the inmates are starting to go crazy. As is the warden. Send teachers (or rain) soon!
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#momlife #seekjoy #findthejoy #joyinjanuary #boymom #encourage #leap

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Serene, perfect, and put together on the outside.

More like Fyre festival on the inside. 😳😂 I never want anyone - both in my everyday real life and in this online life - to think this space was one that has it all together. Yes, I love pretty things and pretty spaces but good Lord, we are 90% dumpster fire on the inside. Well, at least my kids’ rooms are. 🙃🤪 We live here, plain and simple. It’s a space for the mess of ourselves to be brought and held with great care. I’m learning to see a lot of beauty in the mess, and want the people who live here and the people that come here, to always feel safe within these walls. So if our insides need to always look like Fyre festival for that to happen, then so be it. 😂 I’m pretty sure God uses the messiest of messes to bring beauty and life to the world, and we want in on that. ❤️

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I’ve been doing a lot of work on my mental game since easing out of my anti-anxiety meds about 6 months ago. Not the least of which has been a regular practice of gratitude (I use the @dailydeposit❤️). But what I did NOT anticipate was that this journey, of anxiety, of meds, of life post-meds, is anything BUT a straight line. One week, in classic Achiever mindset, I’m on top of the world feeling like I can conquer everything coming my way. And then the next, plans change unexpectedly, I get hit by a drunk driver, our calendar fills up more than I wanted it to, Christmas break (aka CHILDREN) and the spiral begins. Honestly, it’s really frustrating. That feeling of: I should be PAST this. I’m stronger than this. Yet I’m not. And I’m learning to have more grace for myself.
This is what I have to offer:
1️⃣Be kind to yourself. Meds, or no meds, it is OKAY to not be okay and still be making forward progress on your journey
2️⃣Do the things that all the professionals (of which, I am not) tell you to: sleep the full amount, drink the water, daily prayer, practice your gratitude, build in margin - all of it is so helpful. These are TOOLS though, not necessarily SOLUTIONS
3️⃣Be okay even when you do all the things and you still need the help. This is part of the path. There is no magic arrival, and self-sufficiency is not likely (not prescribed). We need each other, we need the practices, we need the journey, and in cases, yes, we even need the meds.

Look, moms out there need NO EXTRA judgement. This job is freaking hard. It reveals and oftentimes brings up parts of you that you’ve never had to deal with head on, until now (yay!) - which conveniently you’re also responsible for caring for little people (thank you hormonal timing 🤪). And if you’ve been a lucky one that hasn’t had to encounter anxiety, depression, or any other ongoing or seasonal mental health challenge, then simply encourage, love, and see your sister through. Trust and know she’s doing her best. We need a friend more than we need a critic.
Thanks for being that community of moms here. ❤️
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#momlife #momofboys #boymom #momsofig #girlmom #okayestmom #okayestmomever #lifestyleblog #momblogger

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