When I became a mom, no one told me that I should’ve had a burial ceremony for what I previously had called “the weekend”.
Saturday and Sunday, the most blessed days of the week. Sleeping in. Vegging in your sweats, cuddled up next to your spouse on the couch. Maybe occasionally sprinkling in some social encounters with our friends, but ultimately the agenda for the weekend usually consisted of WHATEVER WE WANTED.
And then you become a mom.
Thankfully, you ease into their growing up stages gradually, but here I am eight years in with a 7 year old, 6 year old and 3 year old and my weekends are ANYTHING but restful, easy and effortless.
My weekend has died.
Saturday and Sunday are now days filled to the brim with carpools, sports activities and birthday parties. My husband and I find ourselves “on” from sun up to sun down, and absolutely WIPED by the end of the day.
It’s taken me several years to realize that since getting rid of my kids wasn’t an option, in order to not grow bitter and weary, what I needed was a mindset adjustment. The weekends were no longer the days that I looked forward to from a rest and relaxation standpoint. That was gone.
Yes, it meant that I would have help with the kids (hello DADurday!), but it also meant way less connection for my husband and I, and way more physical and emotional demands from our kids with how our time was spent.
Mondays are now WAY more restful, easy and effortless than my Saturday and Sunday.
The death of the weekend.
For years, I would roll into Mondays with all of the expectations to get things done that everyone else feels at the start of a new week, except my soul and body would be absolutely depleted.
As moms, we need a mental shift. Saturdays and Sundays are no longer yours. They are in place to create all of the childhood memories they’ll fondly look back on, to build connection with who they are growing into being, and frankly to power through. When Monday rolls around, you lovingly shove those little hoodlums on the bus, say a prayer of thanksgiving for their teachers, and happily skip back to your now quiet, peaceful house.
It’s likely a disaster from the tornado of your weekend.
But it’s quiet.
Mondays are now my morning and day for rest.
Yes, of course, I still do all of the things that are required to run this three ring circus, but I make sure that I’m stopping to sneak in at least 30 minutes for myself.
I put this out on Instagram, and got feedback from some veteran moms that they schedule massages, or take a bath or treat themselves to lunch out that day.
Ladies, I’m not saying throw yourself into a frivolous Monday routine which will only give you temporary fulfillment. I’m saying make a mental shift and take care of yourself. Culture tells you that Monday is your back in the grind day. As a mom, I’m here to pitch that Monday is actually a sacred day that I now look forward to in order to breathe a little deeper and care for my soul.
Moms work an alternative work week.
Maybe it’s time you analyze how your week is structured and make that mental shift for your self-care efforts as well.
Grocery shop, garden, plan meals, read a book – do whatever it is that makes your soul breathe. For me, these things can no longer happen on Saturdays and Sundays. And it took me changing my perspective and quitting the fight against how my week had always been structured, which ultimately led to bitterness that I no longer had time to myself, for me to realize that my rest comes on Monday now. Saturday and Sunday are go-time with the kids.
And moms of littles reading this, my hope for you is to grind it out everyday and sneak in 30 minutes to yourself WHENEVER you can. There is no regular rhythm or cadence to rest with littles. You have ear infections, and missed naps, and snotty noses and all of that. I get it. You don’t yet have the blessing of school-age kids and I see that. Your method is plain survival and snatching minutes of quiet whenever you can. This is a season.
But for moms in the same season as me, with school age kids, it’s time that we say goodbye to our weekends. Someday (in 18 years), Saturdays and Sundays will again be a time of rest and relaxation. But for now, it’s go time. Rest on Mondays so that you’re ready to be in the game for your family the other days of the week.