The Importance of Self-Care in the Midst of Motherhood
Photo Cred: The Morgan Taylor
I always knew being a mom was something that I wanted in life. When that dream came true, and I chose to leave my career, I was pretty confident that I was going to rock this new job. But then those children started coming out the hole (don’t ask me about this lesson, talk to your own mother if you don’t know) and reality set in: I wasn’t very good at this job. Most days I felt like a cop-out – an imposter – because domestic life wasn’t anywhere in my skill set.
Several years in, and it felt like I had checked my brain at the door and now was relegated to the kitchen and a submissive life that just wasn’t me. Can you relate?
The title of Stay At Home Mom felt so “less than” from the job that I thought I was signing up for. Christian culture affirmed me in my choice to stay home and raise the kids, yet I continually struggled with feeling like I could be doing more, something with more prestige and worth “more.”
The days were long, and the years felt longer. There was no joy in my mothering days. Because I had chosen to believe these lies that my job was worth less, I teetered regularly between depression and just wanting to run away. Surely, someone else more qualified was better-suited to raise my kids.
It wasn’t until I started investing in self-care, that I began to see the lies that I was believing about myself as a mom and thus began understanding the TRUTH’S about who I really was, that really had nothing to do with being a mom.
Photo Cred: The Morgan Taylor
The Truth About Your Role as a Mom: They Make the World Go Round
It required a serious perspective shift. I no longer was climbing a corporate ladder, but rather had made a career change. I was now a career MOM. That’s what my job title was, but it was not WHO I was.
I am the Chief Operating Officer of our household. The pay has been TERRIBLE, the hours are a JOKE, but good Lord, this job is worth it. It doesn’t feel like it a lot of days, but if Mother Teresa could deem it valuable and good, then I’d say it’s a sacrifice and role that is worthy of our effort.
If you want to change the world, go home and love your family first.
Where would society and culture be without moms? If you want to change the world, go home and love your families. Simple advice, yet so hard to live out.
Contrary to popular belief, your brain still functions. Sure, you’ve lost some (hundreds) of cells, but you are still that kick-A lady who used to crush it at the office. That girl is still in there.
If you are feeling lost, purposeless or that the only title that applies to your life is mom, let’s take a minute to speak over that.
You are more than a mom, ladies.
You are more than your worst day.
You are more than those career goals.
I know those littles run your world right now. Your 9-5 is actually more like a 5-9 and you throw your feet up in exhaustion at the end of the day, only to wake up a few hours later and start it all over again. I get it.
But it’s time we take back motherhood. It’s time that we start preaching of the value that each mom puts into raising their kids.
This is a job that is worthy of your college degree that you worked so hard for.
It is a job that is worthy of your brains, your wit, and all of your sophisticated energy.
It is a job that is worthy of work clothes – sure they might be mostly stretchy pants, but good Lord, just because you don’t get a paycheck right now (or a smaller one) doesn’t mean that you don’t need work clothes too (don’t even get me started about being a slob kebob – this is a slob kebob free zone).
You still have a seat at the table. Sure, we might have to fight a little harder for it now in this historically patriarchal society, but you are still YOU. Prove them wrong. Believe in the intrinsic value that you were born with. IT IS ENOUGH. Those dreams you once pursued, those hopes you once honed, those injustice’s you once worked passionately toward – it is all still there.
Do not lose sight of who you are, and who you were uniquely made to be in the daily monotony of motherhood.
We need to give ourselves more credit. To remember that raising the next generation is a task WORTHY of your efforts. It is freaking hard! It requires us to pour resources into it as you grow this little family of yours. Sure, your partner might be out in the world, bringing home the bacon, eating fancy lunches while you eat scraps of chicken nuggets, but just because you don’t receive a paycheck does not make you any less worthy or your work any less important. There is not a lot of glamour to this hard work, but don’t be lured by glamour. The grass is only greener where you water it.
You are worth more than what culture will tell you. Sure, you wear yoga pants all day, and you’ve got 3 day old hair and this morning’s breakfast spit up on you, but darn it, this is just par for course in our line of work.
We are mama warriors.
Taking on the world’s hardest job.
So please start believing this about yourself. You are worthy. This job that you are doing is exactly what you are supposed to be doing right now. I know it feels fruitless, I’m with ya, but we must power on. Not striving and worrying about the results of our children’s lives, but rather resting and believing in the GOOD work that we’re doing. Trusting that this title that you own right now does not define you. This is not all there is for you. You are a whole person, out there changing the world, one little person at a time.
*For more tips on how to care for yourself despite the dailyness of motherhood, click the Self-Care tab above.