3 Things to Tell Your Partner that Won’t Cost a Dime
The Hallmark holiday is almost upon us and as a married mom of 3, I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. Many partners are wondering what it is that moms really want for Valentine’s Day. How can they woo and win points when money is tight this year or life looks a little weirder than normal? I’ve got 3 things to share with your partner about what moms really want for Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day of Old (Pre-Kids)
As a child, it was always so fun to pass out class Valentine’s, decorate fun boxes (mine was usually the LEAST decorated…def never won any awards), but then you ended the day with CANDY! Then as a tween/teen, it was always a stressor (but sometimes good stress) wondering if that boy you had your eye on was going to acknowledge the V day? This would mean your relationship was very official if you got a flower or card to carry around the halls of your middle/high school, it was the status symbol each girl longed for at that age.
Even as a young married, it was still a fun day to be intentionally lovey toward one another and manage expectations of courting vs. married Valentine’s Day celebration. But now, 17 years in of celebrating this day together, married Valentine’s Day looks a lot different. We’ve got 3 kids, jobs, kids activities, and just a lot of LIFE to juggle – is Valentine’s even still a thing??
I gathered some intel to put together a short list of 3 things moms really want this Valentine’s Day…that won’t even cost a dime. It’s been a long year financially for many, but have no fear, this list isn’t very Hallmark-approved. Rather it is MOM APPROVED. Partners, take note.
What Moms Really Want for Valentine’s Day
1. Time Off
I’ve always said Moms are like crockpots, and men are like microwaves. It’s going to take all day this year to get us in the mood and you’re going to need to start by turning us on first thing in the morning. Which is going to look like TIME OFF. Holy moly, can I get an amen when it comes to time off? Moms need a BREAK right now. I can’t even finish a sentence or a chore or an email without a kid interrupting me, so for Valentine’s Day – the day for lovers – if there is going to be any love shared between partners, it’s going to need to start with some alone time.
2. A Clean House.
Is there anything better than coming home or walking into a clean house? Instantly, my brain is freed up and I let out a huge sigh of relief – like YESSSS, NOW the crockpot is starting to turn on. If a clean house isn’t what does it for you, frankly, your partner picking up the slack or relieving you from any household responsibility that is normally yours is a major turn on (bonus points if the kids are bathed and dishes are done too)!
3. Words of Affirmation.
Motherhood is one of the world’s most thankless jobs. Nothing would fill my cup more than to hear from my partner that I am doing a good job. Someone to say, “Thank you”, “you look so good today”, “wow, you are so good at loving our kids” – I mean…swoon. Words of affirmation have the ability to completely soften our hearts. It doesn’t matter if they are written, if they are spoken, but to affirm us as women, as moms, as partners who have been juggling SO much this past year is for sure what we really want this Valentine’s Day (bonus points if you call out all the ways that “we still got it” because at this point, the crockpot is on high and showering us with some words that remind us that we are more than a mom physically is key to setting the mood).
With those three things in place, I’m ripe to show up for my partner on Valentine’s Day. Moms will most likely already be the Chief Holiday Officer of all the cutesy V-Day things for the kids (bonus points if you make sure you are your daughter’s Valentine too without reminding), so by gifting her with some time off, a clean house, and some massive words of affirmation, the tone will be set for when the kids go to bed for some reenactments of when you first made those babies.